My heart aches

I have a pretty good friend, well at least I feel like shes a good friend, weve been friends for years, we only see each other once in a great while, but we always know we are there for each other, shes such a great friend, I was and am dissapointed I wasnt a better friend to know what she was going thru ahead of time... where was I? how did I not know? I usually stay up with her life on facebook or myspace, but now I have finally got her blog as well...

anyhow this good friend of mine is going thru a very rough time that i would never dream upon happening to me or anyone I love or whatever... I love this girl and I feel extremely bad, when she told me basically before she told anyone else that she was preggo, I was so excited, I couldnt and cant wait to meet little "turkey" as she calls the baby... then it was time to find out what she was having and I was even more excited to find out what I was going to be an aunt too... a girl, a beautiful little girl, an Angel... I even considered some names for her, esp being named after her auntie that loves her dear... But that didnt fly lol...

Yesterday came the devastating news to me that baby didnt make it... and my friend will sadly have to go thru labor just to have her baby that will be born not alive... this saddens me, this hurts so bad... its not even me and I can feel the pain... I wish there was something I could do to change this, but there isnt, Im not god, I cant bring her back to life... I cant tell her its okay because shes not gonna be okay, its gonna be hard, its gonna hurt... I never thought I would have to watch any family or friend or anyone go thru this... I am very excited to meet little Emma Angel... shes going to be so beautiful... I get to go up and see her and possibly hold her after she gives birth to her before they take her and get her ready for her funeral...

Please keep my friend in your thoughts and prayers... this is a very tragic time for her... first baby... she was so happy and still is dont get me wrong... this is still her baby girl and always will be... there is more times to come when she will have more babies... but nothing will ever fill this void this hurt... I just wish that I could take her pain away... I just wish this wasnt my friend it was happening too, or anyone at that... but I cant wait to meet little Emma Angel... what a blessing my friend is letting me meet her...


on another note, the boys are good, gettin ready for kempers birthday party... gonna be a good time, tons of food and cake and ice cream:)

I want another baby but robert isnt having it, i really want one really bad but oh well what do you do, gotta be on the same note with your partener lol and its a no go for him... anyhow thats it for now, my heart is just really hurt:(

Please pray